well, that’s today over.

i just feel exhausted. i feel like i still haven’t said goodbye.

jesus becca, you can’t be gone. you just can’t. you’re strong and fierce and fun and you laugh all the time. you can’t be gone.

but i saw your coffin. that cold wooden box held you. it just doesn’t make sense. you were inside that. how can that possibly be becca. how?

oh god, i want to hug you. i just want to hug you.

i feel like today can’t be just it. i feel like there should be your funeral every week. like it shouldn’t just be something that’s done and then it’s done and that’s it. how can this just be it.

i can’t make sense of it because there’s nothing to make sense of. it doesn’t make sense.